Author Topic: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SONG? (Read 2146 times)

Locomotive16 · « **on:** November 05, 2006, 07:16:25 PM »

Come in come right in
dont hesitate come right in
im the one with your wildest dreams
im the one who can set you free

Hello city speaking
i wont rip you off
come right in

All ill do is play you n toy with you you
until your paranoid bipolar n crazy
Come to me a person come out a
paranoid andorid Aw!,

ill take you through a world youve never ben
ill break you into peace until your but a sin
ill help you admit nobody dies a virgin because life screws all and your first in line honey yea!

Breakdown your on your knees
your sinking in my seas

Aw..!

Gagarin · « **Reply #1 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:18:56 PM »

Quote from: "Locomotive16"

Come in come right in
dont hesitate come right in
im the one with your wildest dreams
im the one who can set you free

Hello city speaking
i wont rip you off
come right in

All ill do is play you n toy with you you
until your paranoid bipolar n crazy
Come to me a person come out a
paranoid andorid Aw!,

ill take you through a world youve never ben
ill break you into peace until your but a sin
ill help you admit nobody dies a virgin because life screws all and your first in line honey yea!

Breakdown your on your knees
your sinking in my seas

Aw..!

Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
if there was music, otherwise it may or may not just be bad/good poetry.

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #2 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:20:08 PM »

Yea i know its hard with just words, but do u think the words r good?

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #3 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:44:45 PM »

cmon a reply of thoughts pleasE?

dykwtfya · « **Reply #4 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:46:17 PM »

looks good to me. go to he garden section tho

axTHAL · « **Reply #5 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:53:02 PM »

decent nothing special kinda just looks like you threw that toghter

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #6 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:53:09 PM »

thx appreciate ur comment man

axTHAL · « **Reply #7 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:54:13 PM »

o and dont use lyrics like paranoid android and set you free for it feels to me that u just got them from other songs but its a good start

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:56:39 PM »

Those arent from other songs man
Paranoid andriod is a term and if we should sya that then no one would be able to use the english vocab to write a song because all the words r gone,using words that u see in other songs does not mean u copied form them a line would but not a well knmown term.

feconroses · « **Reply #9 on:** November 05, 2006, 07:58:13 PM »

unoriginal to me

axTHAL · « **Reply #10 on:** November 05, 2006, 08:01:50 PM »

Quote from: "Locomotive16"

Those arent from other songs man
Paranoid andriod is a term and if we should sya that then no one would be able to use the english vocab to write a song because all the words r gone,using words that u see in other songs does not mean u copied form them a line would but not a well knmown term.

just has that vibe idk id have to hear the music n melody of the vocals to tell you for sure

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #11 on:** November 05, 2006, 08:10:21 PM »

This is sumthin i writ during english class anyways,kinda jus hit me
for sumthing wiritten within 20 mins its decent,

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #12 on:** November 06, 2006, 08:55:08 AM »

Any more comments?

Robbie · « **Reply #13 on:** November 06, 2006, 08:56:32 AM »

WTF!!!

HOW IS THIS GUNS N ROSES 2006 NEWS?????

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #14 on:** November 06, 2006, 08:59:31 AM »

i dont care not really an issue so mind ur business

Robbie · « **Reply #15 on:** November 06, 2006, 09:00:29 AM »

Quote from: "Locomotive16"

i dont care not really an issue so mind ur business

how about being banned?

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #16 on:** November 06, 2006, 09:03:29 AM »

never got banned so i ainr doin sumthing wrong so piss off

Robbie · « **Reply #17 on:** November 06, 2006, 09:06:26 AM »

moved :\

why did people even respond to this?

Locomotive16 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 06, 2006, 09:08:59 AM »

ok computer freak go fuck ur self k?
atleast im not a a guy speding his life on the pc..
and probably a better muscian thN UY BY MILES

Robbie · « **Reply #19 on:** November 06, 2006, 09:11:27 AM »

the net can be harsh sometimes huni

Kov · « **Reply #20 on:** November 06, 2006, 12:17:47 PM »

Quote from: "Locomotive16"

Come in come right in
dont hesitate come right in
im the one with your wildest dreams
im the one who can set you free

Hello city speaking
i wont rip you off
come right in

All ill do is play you n toy with you you
until your paranoid bipolar n crazy
Come to me a person come out a
paranoid andorid Aw!,

ill take you through a world youve never ben
ill break you into peace until your but a sin
ill help you admit nobody dies a virgin because life screws all and your first in line honey yea!

Breakdown your on your knees
your sinking in my seas

Aw..!

kinda like GNR, VR, Black Sabbath, and Douglas Adams put into a mixer, shaken up well, and served cold.

Not bad, if it has cool riffs to go with it

High'N'Dry · « **Reply #21 on:** December 27, 2006, 02:02:48 PM »

Pretty good song dude
although u shopuld extend it

w.a.r.'swife · « **Reply #22 on:** December 27, 2006, 07:26:24 PM »

Quote from: "Locomotive16"

ill help you admit nobody dies a virgin because life screws all and your first in line honey yea!

Breakdown your on your knees
your sinking in my seas

Aw..!

those are good lines but the rest is a rough draft

clarablue · « **Reply #23 on:** February 07, 2007, 07:41:04 AM »

Keep writing and don't care much about what others might
think.With all the respect for everyone,it is so easy for some people
to say:"oh this is not good or you could change this or that..." but
why don't they start creating something? Sometimes,even brilliant
minds have some loss of inspiration.So keep being yourself and expressing
your ideas by writing.Much respect,peace.

locomotive · « **Reply #24 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:36:49 PM »

well its great that you are trying but my first impression?
It was painful to read...didn't flow, the first half was better than the second half for sure though..Reads like a shitty ripoff of "Welcome to the jungle"......just being honest..lol..

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Author Topic: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS SONG? (Read 2146 times)