"A Witty Phrase Proves Nothing"

[2NaFish]

Was reading over some funny quotes/one liners/put downs and thought it'd be nice to see what tickled everyone else in that special way?

We'll start with an apt one, "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -- Oscar Wilde

(bonus for whoever names the author of the thread title)

[a_bitch_called_hope]

That'd be Voltaire.

[GGS]

Oscar Wilde pretty much has the monopoly on alot of great caustic ones;

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
Oscar Wilde

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

[Ina46]

"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing."

Neil Gaiman.

"If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."

Edward Hopper.

"Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose."

Tom Krause.

[GGS]

There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others.
Niccolo Machiavelli

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Niccolo Machiavelli

A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.
Malcolm X

I don't even call it violence when it's in self defense; I call it intelligence.
Malcolm X

[Engel220]

"A jumbo jet taking off from LAX is like 30 smokers smoking 200 cigarettes a day for 30 fuckin years, and they want me to stop smoking this one cigarette?"

-Lemmy

[GGS]

Does anyone like that dead comedian guy Bill Hicks??

[Faxl]

Does anyone like that dead comedian guy Bill Hicks??

"Non-smokers die every day. Sleep tight!"

"People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" "Nothing." "Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." "Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?"

[2NaFish]

Does anyone like that dead comedian guy Bill Hicks??

like? that man is my saviour. february 26th every year is a holiday for me, spent listening to Bill.

"Wouldn't it be great to hear a positive drugs story on the news, just once?

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, life is only a dream and we are the imaginations of ourselves.

Here's Tom with the weather."

[PurpleHaze]

My fav is...

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Churchill

I believe the correct response to that is "OH SNAP!".

[Faxl]

"All generalisations are false, including this one."

-Mark Twain

[_Flame Trees_]

"All generalisations are false, including this one."

-Mark Twain

haha, i like that one.

[mad at gas prices.]

good evening ociffer

[RP88]

Mark Twain's got a bunch of wicked quotes, just don't feel like looking them up. One is...

"it's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog."

[wyldechild]

It's not a crime to get drunk.
Joe Bob Briggs

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
Joe Bob Briggs

[Faxl]

"What seems to be the officer, problem?"

[mad at gas prices.]

doog evening occifer.......