Abortion - Is it really the womans right to choose?

[aintitfun22]

Allow me to share a personal story with you, mostly because I've seen a lot of talking about whether or not it is "murder" when a woman chooses to have an abortion...

First off... I don't believe abortions are murder, I believe much like any other medical procedure they have their means in our society... that being said, I do not condone this procedure being used as a means of "protection" if you are old enough to willingly lay down and make that baby you should be old enough to care for the life that you create. 

So now to my personal story... about 7 months after my son was born I became pregnant with my 3rd child... and yes I did say child... however shortly after seeing my OB/Gyn, I had to make the decision about whether or not I would carry this child... I'm not going to go into tragic and graphic details because in the end it's only me that knows for sure whether or not I made the right decision. 

My pregnancies with both my children that are with us were long, painful and ultimately tore me up pretty badly... I was hospitalized for 6 days following the birth of my daughter for complications and 3 days with my son who we almost lost when he finally made an appearance. A third pregnancy was not in the cards so to speak for me given how much damage was done with the prior 2.  You never know how hard it is to make a decision like this until you have to make it.... ultimately it came down to I could try and maintain the pregnancy or I could terminate. 

I chose what many would consider the "easy" road, but it's never as easy as people think it is, this is literally the suctioning of a life out of another life, I will get to that in a minute.  I spoke for days with my Mr about the pros and cons but we never touched on emotionally or mentally what this decision would entail for us... it would be another week before the appointment could be scheduled and 3 days more before the appointment.  Over those days I went back and forth back and forth, I spent every moment with my hand on my stomach and every moment I was alone in tears, this destroyed me and it still does almost 9 years later, but I could not live with the possible outcome if I attempted to bring this life into the world... that being... my children might not have their mom today.

The morning of the appointment comes... I go to the out patient clinic in the hospital, get checked in, get all the pre-surgical tests done... then they send in a councilor to ensure that I am making the right decision and try to talk me out of it.  Clearly they did not read the notes in my file... talking to them was worse than the actual procedure itself, it was basically an emotional beat down wrapped in phony concern. Anyway, I digress, they walk me into this little room... and I do mean little, if it were 10' x10' it was big... a nurse comes in and asks a bunch of questions and then says "OK we are going to give you this needle, it's full of stuff to make you not remember the procedure" I can't remember the name of the stuff but I do remember how quickly it knocked me out.  I was essentially awake long enough for the Dr to explain to me how the vacuum worked and what he would do with it.  15 minutes later with me waking up from the needle it was done... the physical part anyway. 

As they were wheeling me out to the recovery room the nurse looks at me and says... "Yeah we have whats left in that little baggy over there" I didn't know whether or not to go to pieces right there in the room or wait.  Unbelievably, I told her I wanted to see it, the look on her face was priceless, after arguing with me about the logic of my request the Dr. finally brought it over.  I mean what can you do when someone tells you that your now deceased baby is in a baggy in the room with you.  I looked, I wont tell you what it looked like, save to say that it is not as represented on TV shows or pro-life ads, where they show parts of baby or even the whole fetus in order to scare you into not doing it.  That's when I lost it.

It's been almost 9 years and it's still a decision I live with every day, I still wonder, I still yearn for that little one, I still lose it some days...

so to answer any question about should we the carriers of the child be allowed to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy... I will tell you from being there... YES we have the sole right to make that decision, even thought I didn't make it alone... why? it's our bodies, it's our minds and ultimately we have to live with the decision in the end.

very touching story, thats some powerful shit........thanks for sharing that.

[Bonnie]

thank you... I didn't mean it to be oh boo hoo wah wah, just a bit of perspective from the side of someone who had to do it... one can't really speak to it, other than their opinions -- which I respect, until they have been there.

[Rocket Queen]

The morning of the appointment comes... I go to the out patient clinic in the hospital, get checked in, get all the pre-surgical tests done... then they send in a councilor to ensure that I am making the right decision and try to talk me out of it.  Clearly they did not read the notes in my file... talking to them was worse than the actual procedure itself, it was basically an emotional beat down wrapped in phony concern.

Whait, what?! They tried to talk you out of it? Why the fuck do they think they have a say in this? Like you, being a grown, adult, woman, haven't thought about this long and hard, like it isn't hard enough to make this desicion without having some hysterical conservative women coming in and telling you what's right and what's not. They should support you, and talk to you, ask if you would like to talk to a therapist to get through this tough period in your life.

If I was you(I'm sure it wasn't easy being in that situation) I would demand to be left the fuck alone and tell my husband to inform them that this is none of their business.

[King bumb.l.foot II]

this is a really sensitive subject but i think that the ultimate decision has to be left to the woman.  It is her body and therefore she should have the power to decide what is best.  Obviously in terms of harmony, it is best for the couple that they both agree and support each other but even if the man is against it, i believe the woman should still have the say.

[Bonnie]

Whait, what?! They tried to talk you out of it? Why the fuck do they think they have a say in this? Like you, being a grown, adult, woman, haven't thought about this long and hard, like it isn't hard enough to make this desicion without having some hysterical conservative women coming in and telling you what's right and what's not. They should support you, and talk to you, ask if you would like to talk to a therapist to get through this tough period in your life.

If I was you(I'm sure it wasn't easy being in that situation) I would demand to be left the fuck alone and tell my husband to inform them that this is none of their business.

they did seriously try to talk me out of it... I was shocked, but I can understand looking at it now why they tried, it wasn't really that they didn't want me to do it more so they wanted to be sure that I wasn't being coerced into doing it, that I was going thru the surgery of my own free will.. Mind you had I have had free will about the decision I wouldn't have done it, but I didn't, I was not going to risk the chance of not being with the children I had/have now.  If I didn't have them at the time I would have risked it, but I had to make the choice for them not for me.

[Rocket Queen]

I can understand them trying to figure out if you are mentally healthy, and stable enough to make a sensible decision. Trying to "talk you out of it" though, is just.. horrible. None of their business. Their job is to make sure you are well and get the help you need.

[nemo]

I think 'talk you out of it' is the wrong word there, I don't imagine they were saying to her 'you should keep the baby, this is a bad decision.'  It's more of a mental health and well being check up (and a check on whether the woman is being coerced into doing it) I think it's a very important part of the service that advice and counselling is available to the woman (and man involved if he wants it) both before and after the decision.

[Bonnie]

I think mebbe the wrong words in play there, however there was a lot of "are you sure you want to do this" and "you don't have to do this" and "it's not too late to change your mind"... had they have read the file like a normal person would have or should have they wouldn't have used those statements quite so freely, understanding just a little that yes I did have to do it...

[LostInTheGarden]

2na: why do you insist on talking to everyone on ths forum like they couldn't possibly be as smart as you? you twisted his words for one, his argument wasn't that abortion is wrong because its unpleasant to look at. maybe you watched too much doug stanhope specials on showtime, or maybe you skipped the real argument which is that a fetus is a living breathing feeling person bacause you can't possibly argue with him ith any sense of certainty. just because the law says something is right that doesnt make it so. hell slavery used to be considered proper... not that that's my argument on the abortion debate so dont try to make it so. I'm personally pretty firm in my belief that it is a womans right to choose. I just don't see ho you can breathe let alone type with your head THAT far up your self-righteous asshole.

[2NaFish]

2na: why do you insist on talking to everyone on ths forum like they couldn't possibly be as smart as you? you twisted his words for one, his argument wasn't that abortion is wrong because its unpleasant to look at. maybe you watched too much doug stanhope specials on showtime, or maybe you skipped the real argument which is that a fetus is a living breathing feeling person bacause you can't possibly argue with him ith any sense of certainty. just because the law says something is right that doesnt make it so. hell slavery used to be considered proper... not that that's my argument on the abortion debate so dont try to make it so. I'm personally pretty firm in my belief that it is a womans right to choose. I just don't see ho you can breathe let alone type with your head THAT far up your self-righteous asshole.

i can argue that a foetus isnt a person, because it isnt. hope this clarifies things for you.

If you believe, which it isnt, that a foetus is a person (and that it wrong to kill a human), then you should disagree with abortion as it is murder. Very simple logic. If you want to get emotive, and inusulting about it, then i suggest you take a step back and assess the information which is cut and dry.

[Rocket Queen]

I think 'talk you out of it' is the wrong word there, I don't imagine they were saying to her 'you should keep the baby, this is a bad decision.'  It's more of a mental health and well being check up (and a check on whether the woman is being coerced into doing it) I think it's a very important part of the service that advice and counselling is available to the woman (and man involved if he wants it) both before and after the decision.

Yeah, I got it wrong. That is obviously important.

[LostInTheGarden]

i can argue that a foetus isnt a person, because it isnt. hope this clarifies things for you.

If you believe, which it isnt, that a foetus is a person (and that it wrong to kill a human), then you should disagree with abortion as it is murder. Very simple logic. If you want to get emotive, and inusulting about it, then i suggest you take a step back and assess the information which is cut and dry.

not what I was saying. I just wanted to make his argument more clear for you, as you seemed to have confused the point he was trying to make.

[2NaFish]

i dont even know who "he" is. you're discussing stuff i wrote months/years ago.

if i did 'twist' 'his' words to the point that i was misrepresenting 'him' and 'he' didnt notice, then they are a putz.

[Iconic Shawn]

2na: why do you insist on talking to everyone on ths forum like they couldn't possibly be as smart as you? you twisted his words for one, his argument wasn't that abortion is wrong because its unpleasant to look at. maybe you watched too much doug stanhope specials on showtime, or maybe you skipped the real argument which is that a fetus is a living breathing feeling person bacause you can't possibly argue with him ith any sense of certainty. just because the law says something is right that doesnt make it so. hell slavery used to be considered proper... not that that's my argument on the abortion debate so dont try to make it so. I'm personally pretty firm in my belief that it is a womans right to choose. I just don't see ho you can breathe let alone type with your head THAT far up your self-righteous asshole.

 

Yeah 2NA!

Just a side note on this..

A chick friend of mind just got pregnant by some dude who pretty much screwed her over and is the worst.

Anyway.. with the mindset or "fact" ~cough cough~ that a fetus is not a developing person you'd think a chick would have made the abortion call already.

However.. even though shes actually set to have it a little rough in life she can't seem to bring herself to "kill this baby in me".

I'm no chick but every woman I know seems to have the same feeling about the baby weather they had the child or had the abortion after.

No chick I ever encountered, period, has ever said "ah fuck it its just a fetus" and looked at it as just as good as bowels growing in them.

You have to be a real cold, really fucked up chick to sincerely think like that.

At least thats what any mother I know would say.

~S~