Author Topic: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)  (Read 1782 times)

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« on: April 19, 2009, 03:16:13 PM »
This is the first full song I've ever wrote.Tell me what you think:


You have no regrets and you have no shame
Your to blame for my pain
Yo
You try to think that I don't know shit
Even though I'm clearly down with it
Yo
You say that you love me
Say that you want me
But you can't even spare a day
You don't know how I feel
But why should I stay
When your away


CHORUS x3:
All that I can see you'd rather be...
With anyone else but me

Don't try to..
Deny it
Hide it
You wont get to me so try it
No more will I be weak
You use the illusion that we're a couple
Even though its never me
But without a doubt
My patience ran out
Your no good for me
Because...

CHORUS x3
Your all that I wanted
Why must you treat me this way
I can't take this anymore
Not one god damn day
You don't really care about me...
So why don't you set me free

(solo)

CHORUS x8

I'm sorry for you
Sorry for me
But this is the way things have to
Be...
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 07:51:57 PM by Appetite For Democracy »

Offline White-Rider

  • CD Charter Mofo
  • Spotlight Soaker
  • *
  • Posts: 2813
  • Gender: Male
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2009, 03:56:04 PM »
bitter ...

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2009, 07:49:31 PM »
bitter ...

Actually I did write this song when I was pissed, but this song is really a personal song.It's not a hate song at all.Maybe a little angsty

Online RP88

  • GNR Shredder
  • ***
  • Posts: 1092
  • Gender: Male
  • Use your illusion, let it take you where it may
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2009, 11:02:51 PM »
That's pretty lame man. I'd like to give constructive criticism but I just can't do it. You rhymed the most basic words together and the lyrics are about as original as shouting "Free Bird" at a concert.
?

Offline mooney

  • ChiDem Frontline
  • *****
  • Posts: 6124
  • Gender: Male
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2009, 03:47:22 PM »
ditch the reference to "illusions" too GNR. Ditch the "Set Me Free" line, too, well, lots of songs really, and definately ditch the "Sorry" rip off at the bottom... and "one god damn..." is also from Sorry. Even if not intentional, these things spring to mind instantly...

and the words "pain" and "Shame" are tooooo typical, infact i think only Axl himself can get away with it, otherwise i cringe. You actually put them together which hurt me a small amout. The foundations are their, just lose the Axl-sounding stuff...

i dont mean to sound like a douche either, maybe i was a little harsh but im very fussy over lyrics! :lol:

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2009, 06:08:27 PM »
ditch the reference to "illusions" too GNR. Ditch the "Set Me Free" line, too, well, lots of songs really, and definately ditch the "Sorry" rip off at the bottom... and "one god damn..." is also from Sorry. Even if not intentional, these things spring to mind instantly...

and the words "pain" and "Shame" are tooooo typical, infact i think only Axl himself can get away with it, otherwise i cringe. You actually put them together which hurt me a small amout. The foundations are their, just lose the Axl-sounding stuff...

i dont mean to sound like a douche either, maybe i was a little harsh but im very fussy over lyrics! :lol:

Hey your not a douche at all,unlike RP88

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2009, 06:09:48 PM »
That's pretty lame man. I'd like to give constructive criticism but I just can't do it. You rhymed the most basic words together and the lyrics are about as original as shouting "Free Bird" at a concert.

You know what dude?If you can't contribute andthing meaningful here, then get the fuck off! It's reeally that simple man

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2009, 07:08:24 PM »
Anyone else care to share?

Offline White-Rider

  • CD Charter Mofo
  • Spotlight Soaker
  • *
  • Posts: 2813
  • Gender: Male
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2009, 07:20:07 PM »
Anyone else care to share?

maybe i could try to write an answer to it?

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2009, 07:25:49 PM »
maybe i could try to write an answer to it?
Huh?

Offline aussie_GNR92

  • GNR Shredder
  • ***
  • Posts: 1372
  • Gender: Male
  • "I am the Shackler in the Rye with Diamonds"
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2009, 09:53:23 PM »
You know what dude?If you can't contribute andthing meaningful here, then get the fuck off! It's reeally that simple man

You asked people what they thought, and he gave you his opinion. No need to take it personally. If you share things like lyrics in a public place, comments like this are pretty much inevitable. Unless they're really, really good.
"Your misconceptions and fantasies along with your misguided sense of entitlement don't dictate my actions" - Axl Rose

NEW SONG >> www.myspace.com/thebandvanity << NEW SONG

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2009, 10:13:01 PM »
You asked people what they thought, and he gave you his opinion. No need to take it personally. If you share things like lyrics in a public place, comments like this are pretty much inevitable. Unless they're really, really good.

Yeah but all he said was tht it was lame and didnt even have a reason.Thts y i was pissed. He was just a spammer

Offline aussie_GNR92

  • GNR Shredder
  • ***
  • Posts: 1372
  • Gender: Male
  • "I am the Shackler in the Rye with Diamonds"
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2009, 11:32:07 PM »
Yeah but all he said was tht it was lame and didnt even have a reason.Thts y i was pissed. He was just a spammer

You rhymed the most basic words together and the lyrics are about as original as shouting "Free Bird" at a concert.

"Your misconceptions and fantasies along with your misguided sense of entitlement don't dictate my actions" - Axl Rose

NEW SONG >> www.myspace.com/thebandvanity << NEW SONG

Offline Appetite For Democracy

  • Stage Hand
  • **
  • Posts: 104
Re: Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2009, 10:47:55 AM »

 



GNR Audio N' Video
GNR Tracker
   
SimplePortal 2.3.3 © 2008-2010, SimplePortal